It's impossible to write about this movie without mentioning the series as a whole. I'm not sure why, but I found myself reading the four-part series in 2007. Unlike Harry Potter, these books really are written for young adults. Despite their impressive page count, I was able to get through all four books in a matter of days.

Once they started making these movies, I was compelled to see them. If nothing else, I was curious how they would handle some of the more interesting problems, like make-up and special effects. What I did not expect to see in these movies, which follow the wildly popular success of the books, was such hideous acting and directing.

The movie series starts out in the worst possible way. Bella, our story's heroine, who in the novel is a smart and somewhat quirky teenager, has just been uprooted from living in Arizona with her mom to the remote outskirts of Washington's Olympic Peninsula to live with Dad in Forks. But Bella on screen is flat, dull and almost dim-witted. It was as if the director told Kristen Stewart to have absolutely no emotional reaction to anything. Whatever charm Bella has in the books was completely obliderated on screen.

Enter Edward Cullen, the vampire hottie. But wait a minute, how come his face is powdery-white, but his neck is a normal flesh tone? Oops on the make-up department. And I'm sorry folks, but when I see Robert Pattinson, all I can picture is poor Cedric from Harry Potter, who managed to get the girl and the business-end of Voldemort's wand. Unfortunately, in addition to the bad make-up job, they've given Pattinson some kind of vampire teeth that he can barely speak through, then alone realistically pull off a hot kissing scene.

We also meet the rest of the Cullen "clan" (vampire family) in the first movie, and throughout the series. For some weird reason, more than half of them look like they are wearing powdered wigs. What century is this? As Bella and Edward get the hots for each other, Bella finds that she also has to fit in and be accepted by this group of bloodsuckers who basically just want to make a quick snack out of her.

As if this isn't complicated enough, Bella makes a friend along the way, an Indian boy from La Push (Jacob) who later turns out to transition into a werewolf. Apparently, this has been happening among the Quileute tribe ever since vampires first starting showing up on their shores. Certain members of the tribe can morph into werewolves and kick some vampire butt.

Thus, the classic love triangle set-up. Who will Bella choose? The super-cute werewolf boy with the most awesome six-pack ever found on a teenager, or the creepy, cold Edward? Due to the bad acting and total lack of direction in these films, it is impossible to see why Bella would ever choose Edward. But, of course, she does. Because what girl doesn't want to have her boyfriend suck out her blood and turn her into the undead on the night of their honeymoon?

Each of the three films has had a different director. Twilight (first film), directed by Catherine Hardwicke (Lords of Dogtown, Thirteen), was the first disaster, and the one to set the mood for the entire franchise. Chris Weitz (About a Boy, The Golden Compass) took on New Moon, the second in the series, and managed to make the most boring book in the series even more boring on screen. David Slade (Hard Candy) has had the most success at turning the series around. Eclipse is slightly more entertaining than the first two films, and Bella is finally given permission to show a few more emotions. Her range continues to be about two centimeters, but it's better than nothing.

I am obviously not the target audience for these films, and perhaps if I were fourteen again and watching, I would think these were brilliant. But I've been spoiled by the promise made with the Harry Potter series. Not only were the books written to entertain those of all ages, (most of) the films were translated flawlessly to screen. White the Twilight series has been a major disappointment on screen, I admit that I cannot wait to see how they are going to pull off the vampire birth scene in the final chapter. Perhaps Stewart will finally get to make a facial expression.

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